We often confuse unconditional love with the conditional. There are many actions which we try to avoid taking, so that society does not accuse us of selfishness or stupidity. But let us remember that sometimes when a human being accuses us of being selfish, that would be only because we have placed ourselves at the top of our priorities above them, which is very natural for any survival entity. So, we are being accused of selfishness in order for them to undermine our right of placing ourselves at the top of our priorities and to make us give up our needs in favour of theirs.
Or when they accuse us of being stingy. Sometimes it is because there is an opportunistic and parasitic entity that wants to access our financial wealth easily, and it calls us “uncaring” or “stingy” in order for them to shake our conviction of our entitlement of our fruit and give it away to them.
Of course, those acts art narcissistic, but most people fall into this trap, compromise and weaken themselves and their resources.
Here are some of the attitudes that may strengthen our spiritual forces, unconditional love and conviction:
First of all, it is not our responsibility to fix others. Of course we can choose to make it so, but that is not our responsibility.
If they are angry because of our refusal, it is their responsibility, not ours.
If their request exhausts your resources, wastes your time and resources, it is your right and obligation to say "no", and if they do not like it, it is their responsibility, not mine.
No one is obliged to agree with you, nor you are obliged to agree with them. Putting yourself and your resources at the top of your priorities does not need the agreement and confirmation of others.
In addition to all this, let us also mention that it is not our responsibility to educate and reform others. If they are willing to change, if they need your opinion or direction, they will ask for it coming through the gate of honesty and readiness. But if we try to reform others without their permission, perhaps that will make them more resistant and us more exhausted.
Your ultimate responsibility is to delight yourself and to acknowledge your sovereignty and right to own your feelings.